Meet The Mayor

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“Here at The Mayoral Debate, we’ll strive to give you daily formal discussions on particular topics in a public meeting or legislative assembly, in which opposing arguments are put forward in the most refined and cultivated ways possible. We’re talking only the most thought provoking issues here such as immigration, same-sex marriage, education, health care, climate change, taxes and foreign policy. Debates on the caliber of Honest Abe Lincoln and Stephen Douglas. John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon. George W. Bush and Bill Clinton.

The Mayor’s Office is dedicated to providing it’s readers with a strengthened economy and creating new jobs. Improving public safety and stopping senseless gun violence. Ensuring our schools help every child to succeed. Continuing the fight against injustice and inequality, not just because it honors our values, but because it strengthens our people. And last but not least, increasing the trust and transparency in the city Government. You, the readers, must continue to make your voices heard. You must be at the center of this Debate. And our work begins now.”

Now that’s what I would say if I had any clue at all about things that actually matter out here in the real world. But in all honesty, I really don’t. Despite countless years of Catholic school education, I know nothing about religion. Despite an unprecedented amount of funds spent on a college degree, I know zilch about politics or any other important world matters. What you’ll mostly get is nonsensical rants about stuff like who should or shouldn’t be voted into the MLB Hall of Fame. As I previously stated, only the most thought provoking issues.

Debates around The Mayor’s Office are probably more along the lines of Donny Trump and Hillary. Cher and Amber from Clueless. Stephen A. and Skip Bayless. Frank the Tank and James Carville in Old School. What you’re looking at here is nothing more than a young, rather Jeffersonian esque Mayor, aspiring to one day follow in the footsteps of esteemed city officials such as Kwame Kilpatrick, Tony Mack and Buddy Cianci. And who knows, maybe once in a while, I’ll black out for 30 seconds and actually sound like I have the slightest idea what I’m talking about. Because that’s the way you do it. That’s how you debate.

For all inquiries, please contact: cwcooney@gmail.com

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